TheKittyMan » Poetry

Poetry: As I Slowly Lose My Mind

TheKittyMan — Wed, 05 May 2010 15:04:00 +0000

Idk. I’m going crazy. This started off as something serious. I swear.

The light has turned to darkness
The darkness, light
It seems these thoughts won’t end
Until the night
Everything I loved
Was in my sight
But I lacked the strength
I lacked the might
The words I formed were perfect
Oh, so right
I clap my hands and scream
DY-NO-MITE!!

Humor is my anti-drug?

Poetry: Sleepless

TheKittyMan — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 15:33:11 +0000

The other day I had stayed up for around 35 hours and started to randomly type some stuff. Felt a bit down, but I pulled out something that was a typical AB rhyme scheme. I admit that I’m not that good at this stuff, so ya. I already know.

This lack of sleep
Makes shallow seem deep
The pain in my eyes
can’t make up for the lies
I told to myself
I’ll burn in this hell
You entered my life
Left nothing but strife
Like the day without sun
I’m nothing without the one
who can bring me light
I can no longer fight

Poetry: My Slow Suicide

TheKittyMan — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 16:20:16 +0000

I figured I’d been working on the sites quite a lot recently, so I’m going to post some poetry I wrote on 11/15/09 in order to keep making posts and relieve some stress I guess. Not sure why depressing poetry relieves stress for me, but whatever.

This was an interesting one. I was going through a slight emotional breakdown and I had, for the first time in my life, smoked a pack of cigarettes in one day. I bought the pack at 3am and before 3am the next day, it was gone. It was a crazy “Wtf?” moment. I had already thought that smoking was a way to kill yourself without actually having the ability to go through with it, so I had to go with it when I started to write this flow down. Again, my stuff tends to be pretty depressing, but it’s when I’m down that I’m most inspired to write things like poems. Well, enjoy.

I don’t eat
I don’t sleep
Almost a pack every day
if only to numb the pain
that won’t go away
I cared
I loved
I tried every way
if only to have you around
one more day
You rejected
You scorned
Despite how I tried
it always leads me
to my slow suicide
with a pack every day
to numb this pain I feel
I kill myself slowly
with this self hate
I stood by your side
whether we laughed or cried
and still I stay and wait
I don’t know what to do
I should walk away
but no matter what I try
I still stay
I’ve always been truthful
never have I lied
and you still walk away
leaving me with this slow suicide
with almost a pack every day
the loneliness burns me
knowing you don’t even care
that somebody like me
can be worried for you
despite all the pain and despair
It makes me hate you
but I hate myself more
knowing I can’t walk out
and I stand by your side
without a chance for myself
and as you walk away
I turn to my slow suicide
with almost a pack every day
I sit alone to think
wondering why I’m still here
and as I see that hate build
it makes my heart sink
the feelings I had for you
thrown to the floor
worthless for somebody with it all
it takes almost no time before I fall
back into my slow suicide
with almost a pack every day
I wish that I could say
I hate you
but I love you more
I love you
but I hate myself more

Poetry: How Quickly The World Changed

TheKittyMan — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 20:53:34 +0000

Again, most of my stuff tends to be DEPRESSING. It comes from me being unhappy emotionally and because of my inability to appreciate the things I actually DO have compared to the things that I want. I don’t think I want that much, but it seems to be a pretty fucking tall order. I don’t think that I’m some sort of real poet, but I like to write what comes to my mind. Just what comes to me and how I’m feeling at the moment. Most of it doesn’t have much of a pattern or style other than whiny. This is from 12/17/09. I sort of wish I had all of my stuff dated, but whatever. At least this stuff has a date. Well, here’s another piece of what could laughably be called poetry I guess. Enjoy.

You walk out the door
I’m longing for more
but the only thing left is this empty soul
what should have brought us together
only tore us apart
Nothing is left but my broken heart
Your footsteps, they echo as you walk away
I only wish that for one more day
We could be happy, in our little home
But it’s not what you wanted and left me alone
These walls are a prison and I want out
You left me with nothing but tears on my face
I hate myself for wanting you back
You brought me the only joy I had in my life
To you it meant nothing, for me, the world
This life has torn me apart
I knew it would kill me from the start
My love was the only sure thing
in this confused and unsure world
You threw it back in my face
No second thought crossing your mind
I thought you were the one
I figured this would be it
You turned away with a big fuck you
Now I’m all alone wanting to die
This life had meaning
This life had you
Now I’m rotting away

Poetry: Get Me Out

TheKittyMan — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 12:31:17 +0000

Alright, so this is one that I wrote back on 12/14/09, which I know isn’t that long ago, but it’s still a weird look back. It’s only been a month and a half since I wrote it in a free flow, but enough time has passed that I’m an almost completely different person. I’m also never been one to name my “work”, but I don’t want to come off as some sort of snob to think I could pull something like Shakespeare and not have proper titles and simply say ‘Poem 9′ or whatever. Putting them on this site will give me a chance to finally name some of my stuff like this one. It’s a fairly dark one, so I hope you’re in for some anger after the jump.

Death, darkness, the light disappears.
It’s nothing but a memory now
Fuck this place and all that it brings
Where nothing but hate can reside

My heart and true feelings wasted on you
This life with no fucking meaning
Living a hollow life
Sadness consuming my thoughts

This feeling of despair in my heart
burning a hole deeper into my core
Letting me know that no matter what I do
I will always fucking lose

Let this fucking world burn
Set it ablaze with it’s own putrid waste
Lies, deception, and bullshit is all you are
You can rot in hell, you bitch

Let my tears be your fucking reminder
You’ll never find another like me
Inconsiderate bitch
Unappreciative whore

Why am I always the one to lose?
You’ll never know love again
Once you’re hurt, you want to hurt
and it brings me nothing but hate

My hate for you grows stronger every day
Alongside my love
The growing contradiction building on
Tearing my mind and soul apart

Why did I stay here so long?
Why couldn’t I leave?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Was I wrong to believe?

Love was supposed to be real
It’s nothing but fucking trash.
The hate burning in my eyes
I see through your bullshit disguise

You never felt anything
Your life is fucking numb.
I hope your life is fucking worth it.
I don’t want to play my part anymore

I’m done being your tool
I’m done being your bitch.
You can just fuck yourself
Your eyes will never open to see

Blind to my light
Blind to the world
Blind to the truth
Fuck your narrow minded view

As the clock keeps spinning
My mind begins to slow
Letting the darkness consume me
I want to get out.

Get me out of this hell…

—-

Ya. I have some issues that I’m should be working out, but I’m doing self therapy by working on websites. Hopefully these sites work.

Poetry: That Minimum Wage

TheKittyMan — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 09:47:02 +0000

Well… I was at work and this just popped in my head and I couldn’t put down the pen (unless obligated to due to… you know… work.) and I think it came out pretty good. I have a beat and everything in my head, but since I’m not musically talented, I’ll just post what I have written. Poem after the jump.

Just another day
at that minimum wage
place on a smile
just for a while
nobody knows
it’s just how I flow
I live day by day
but who lives this way
heartache and sorrow
put off till the morrow
the pain on my face
I can’t stand this place
I wait for the time
it’s just me and my rhymes
it fills me with hate
each second I wait
one day the turmoil
will return me to soil
but each day I wake
is not a mistake
God keeps me alive
I’ll continue to strive
and one day you’ll see
it should’ve been me
Living day to day
tryin to find a way
to get out of here
there’s nothing left to fear
another day, another buck
if you die, who gives a fuck
keep your head up high
so people know the reason why
we continue to fight
till one day we see the light
gotta push for the best
leave behind the rest

————

and i was going to finish it, but my shift ended, so it’s sort of incomplete. I think it’s pretty good. I’m a fan of leaving some of my poetry unfinished. I see poetry as moments in time. Something that comes to you and it flows through you. Anybody can manufacture poetry, but this is different for me. It’s why I tend not to have a set style or anything. Anyway. I like it and I hope you like it too.